i can't believe that i'm actually so happy right now!
i finally found happyness...
zaza, im so damn freaking glad extremely HAPPY dat u r considering wat i said...u dunno how much dat meant to me...it was such a relief....WAIT A SEC! what do u mean u'll take ur chances??????
i demand an answer wen school reopens! seriously!
nyways, im no longer crushing on the guy in the previous blog! im crushing on this guy in form 3...he's so sweet..eventhough he did something weird stupid *haha* to cheer me up wen i was depressed..reli emo *dunno y lately i've been depressed*...but it worked...maii...
thirdly, someone finally talked to me!!!! i was screaming *haha* wen that person finally talked to me!!!!!*ROTFLMA*

life gets complicated every stinking second for me...
i cant take it when i look at him...
when i do, my heart beats twice as fast...
dats why i sit at the back...

once when my fren asks...
if in the class, who would u choose as a bf?
i didnt answer...
instead, i just ask her who would YOU choose?

she said she would choose ...
then she asked me...
i said....no one...
n she believed it or maybe she wouldnt want to disturb me...

i can't stand it...
everyday i try and focus...
its almost impossible when he never talks to me...
not even once....
not stinking once...

but i dunno if he's still single or taken...
but why should i care?
its not like if i couple with him,
i can go out with him...

thats why its sad for me...
im not allowed to go on a date...
it sux!

on a second thought...
maybe it would be scary if i would...
go on an actual date that is...
tell me the truth...

but just thinking bout it makes me feel left out...
at the same time, i dun wan to...
*sigh*

four person you wanna tag :

* rachel

* may may

* miya

* zaza

person who tagged you :

*rachel

what do you think of he/she (personality) :

*nuts,hyper,pretty,perasan...hhahahhahaha

things he/she done for you :

* saying stuff at the same time...i miss dat....

he/she looks :

*pretty

*beeee-uuuu---diiii-fuuuullllll

*n pretty...hahahhaha

he/she is your :

*my life partner....n my bestie....ahahaha

10 things you will find in your room :

*but i dun hv a room...i hv a dressing table

*winx magazine

*fairies magazine

*earrings

*small boxes

* pics of me n my frens

*lip gloss

*comb

*my acc book..hahah

*scraps of paper

9 things you wanna do :

*go to dubai to visit rachel

*eat candy n chocolate

*drink 100 plus n go hyper wif ma frens

*I WANNA MEET ORLANDO BLOOM-such a hottie!!!!-

*SLEEP

*EAT STEAK-which i will do later...heheh-

*I WAN TO GO DEPOSIT MONEY BUT GO NO CAR

*play internet all day

8 things you did during the holidays :

*eat

*sleep

*chat

*balik kampung

*shout "im bored" a couple of times in kampung

*watch tv

*bug my auntie for the control

*got chickenpox-it sux!-

7 things you love/like :

*MY INTERNET

*candy n chocolate

*PTONG!

*frens family god

*100 plus

*freedom

*music

6 colours :

*purple-GO UNGU!!!!im so kicking ass dis year-

*red

*green

*blue

*black-its wat im wearing now...hehe-

*white

5 places you wanna visit :

*dubai

*JAPAN -to meet ikuta toma!!!!!-

*Spain

*Hollywood

*Bangkok

4 random thing about your self :

*i love internet..its the ultimate extreme source of joy*got this line from spongebob squarepants*

*i love to watch spongebob squarepants whenever i can

*im getting meaner lately...n not to mention annoying

*LOVE MUSIC AND CHOCOLATE

3 things yo

u wanna change :

*my EFFING ATTITUDE

*my mouth

*access to internet

2 types of food :

me : ??

*chocolate

*PTONG!

1 thing people don't know :

*i love spongebob squarepants-zaza noes i do-

i dun think my new year's resolution will come true cos first, im starting to swear a lot..dats not gud...second, im getting more annoying or so what my fren say...third,im getting meaner...fourth, i cant contain my anger....fifth, im getting more n more malas...sixth, i m getting slower n slower...seventh, i cant control my mouth...eighth, i will automatically kutuk someone.i noe its hard to believe....ninth, im too malas to do anything after school except sit down in front of the computer n check my mail everyday...tenth, i talk too much *related to seventh*...eleventh, im starting to become a very bad person...12th, i cant spell 12 wif the th....thirteenth, im becoming meaner...fourteenth, im losing 2 frens...or maybe more cos of my bad attitude...n mouth..n dats y my cbox is so deserted....

bcos of this reasons, i hv lost the will to live.....

ahaha im being such a dramatist....everyone in my family says i like to ber-drama...hahahahaha

when i read manga, i will listen to music...
the irony is is dat whenever the song like rihanna-unfaithful comes out, the scene where im reading is the girlfriend betrays the boyfriend...so weird...then if a scene where the boyfriend gets his revenge, what goes around comes around by jt will come out....then if a couple breaks up the song aly n aj-potential breakup song will come out...so weird!!!!

eh, u also have been a 2 faced b**** ok? u think i dunno? i admit im not perfect! nobody says i was and i never was. who says im good? i didnt say i was good n i even if i boast, maybe its because it was the wrong way to put it and it ended up looking like i was boasting...n u ask y im not admitting im going homo? its cos im not GAY! and i didnt expect you to respect my non-existant authority or whatever u put it. u noe wat? I WILL GO N HANG OUT WITH WHATEVER YOU THINK IS CALLED. Last but not least, i m not, i repeat, am not trying to sabotage your life if you think i have. maybe you think i am but it was never my intention to sabotage your life.

___________________________________________________________________
someone told me this:-

in life, ur gonna meet all sorts of people, n when u do, u might become frens with them but never try to make them as an enemy but if they think ur an enemy then its up to them cos u cant force them to be friends with u. no one is perfect. everybody has their flaws and its up to the friends if they want to see it as a bad thing or something else.
___________________________________________________________________

I admit i have been a very bad fren n i admit i have been a 2faced *****(or anyway u put it).
im sorry.
i admit i have been spreading rumors about you but not deliberately.
im sorry.
if i really have hurt you and made you sad then
im sorry.
i noe its sucks to have a person like me with very bad habit lately as a friend,n it sucks dat i keep asking another chance but ill try to change if u would give me another chance, i understand u wrote no second chances but im just asking for one more chance.
please?
if u not going to forgive me then its alright....no offences taken...im just saying that if theres any way i could make it up to you, let me noe...

hope u get to read this before something happens or whateverla...

I


HATE


MY


NEW


CLASS


!

WHAT DO U THINK?
FIRST DAY I CAME N I ALREADY BECAME THE JOKE OF THE CLASS
THANK GOD YESTERDAY IT STOPPED!
I WAS CALLED A MONSTER!
F*** DAT!
GUESS WHO CALLED ME 'MONSTER,VAMPIRE AND OTHER STUFF', (BIG SURPRISE) ITS BENJAMIN...
U NOE WAT, I THOUGHT THAT IT WOULD BE FUN HAVING HIM AROUND BUT ITS NOT

FUN

WHEN UR THE JOKE OF THE CLASS...
WTF DID I EVA DO TO HIM? DID I KILL SOMEONE HE LOVE?
ARGH!
I DUNNO HOW MUCH LONGER I CAN TAKE THIS...
I HAVE TO SEAT AT THE BACK OF THE CLASS!
I GET MOSQUITO BITES!
I GET DIRECT SUNLIGHT
I HEAR ANNOYING SOUNDS FROM THE FORM FIVES BUILDING WHICH DISTRACTS MY ATTENTION!
URGH!
THIS IS ALL MY STUPID COUSIN'S FAULT!
SHE RUINED MY FREAKING LIFE!
SHE CAUGHT THE CHICKENPOX
AND
GAVE IT TO ME!
AND I DIDNT GET TO GO TO SCHOOL FOR 2 WHOLE WEEKS AND I MISSED A LOT OF STUFF!
AND I DIDN'T EVEN GET A CHANCE TO IMPRESS THE TEACHER SO THAT HE WOULD RECOMMEND ME GO FOR THE PENGAWAS INTERVIEW!
I'M SO FREAKING PISSED OFF!
F***
F***
F***
F***
F***
SEE HOW PISSED I AM?
ITS ONLY BEEN THE START OF THE YEAR AND IM ALREADY CURSING LIKE HELL!
BUT THE TEACHER PROBABLY WOULDN'T NOTICE ME ANYWAY!
HE WAS THE ONE THAT STOLE MY LIQUID!
ok maybe the liquid was gonna finish anyway


I SUSPECT SOMETHING IS GOING ON.

I THINK SOMETHING IS GOING ON AND ITS MAKING ME DEPRESSED
AND I DON'T GET IT...IF THERE IS SOMEONE OUT THERE WHO HATES ME, WHY DON'T U JUST SAY IT TO MY FACE INSTEAD OF ACTING AND DISSING ME!...


RACHEL, I MISS U! WHEN ARE U COMING BACK?
FOR HOLIDAY I MEAN...

I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA CRY AFTER WRITING THIS BUT THANK GOD THERE'S AT LEAST SOMEONE TO LISTEN TO ME....
WELL, ALL I HAVE TO DO IS FOCUS ON MY STUDIES AND JUST PASS MY EXAMS...
BUT HOW CAN I DO DAT WHEN EVERYTHING AROUND ME SEEM SO SUSPICIOUS???

*P/S:PLEASE LEAVE COMMENT IN THE CBOX*

i have been posting 2 posts..this makes it 3..im not gonna make it long....ive been listening to the same song since just now!!!! its so nice even though its old!!!
sad isn't it?

if u think not going to school is happiness, its not! i didnt get to go to school today cos of some certain reasons!!!! bloody hell!!!!

a) my mom only lets me play internet till 12 only!!! u noe how miserable is dat?!?!?!

b)my mom wont let me sleep for until the time i want cos she says its school season

c)so what?!?! its not like i can go to school anyway! theres this certain woman who is so paranoid she wont let me go to school for a week

d)that school is so paranoid i cant even go to school when i am so freaking healthy!

e)im picking colors out randomly that it looks so ugly!

f)is dat freaking woman daft?!

g)i wanna go to school so much cos i need to kick that freaking perverted *censored*!!!!!

h)my face is so ugly!!!! it has so many scars!!! i need a freaking plastic surgery!!! its so ugly u noe?!?!?! i might even make a choice not to join anymore dances!!!!

i)i miss u rachie!!!! wen u gonna get internet?! and read the freaking email i sent you!

Zaza i seriously hope u read this cos wat you did is something that is suppose to be taken seriously!
omg how can you actually do that?!?!?!?!
im not being warak and all but its just that you have to think before you do!
omgomgomg wthla!!!!!
im so shock
shock
shock
shock
shock
shock
i
m
seriously
shocked!