to me raya means.
going around to random people's houses.
eat free food.
get free money.
if you do it in kl,
more money.
xD
i know.
it sounds so mean.
but who cares?
xD

i slept at 5 this morning and woke up 11 hours later.
i am going to balik kampung tomoro.
hopefully.
i think there's gonna be mercun and barbeque and staying up late at night.
alright!

me mommy me a new kebaya.
its so pretty.
it goes oh so well with my new heels!!!!
arigatou gozaimasu :3

in a way, i can't wait to go back to school but at the same time, i don't want to go to school.

stupid homework.
stupid exams.
stupid bm teacher.
stupid folios have to pass it up.
gawd, i hate this.

raya is in 2 days.
2
1
raya!!!

oh how i cannot wait.

im hungry.
i wanna go down and get food then watch the nanny!

The 7 things I hate about you oh you
You're vain, your games, you're insecure
You love me, you like her
You make me laugh, you make me cry
I don't know which side to buy
You're friends, they're jerks
When you act like them, just know it hurts
I wanna be with the one I know
And the 7th thing I hate the most that you do
You make me love you

i finally had my beauty sleep.
it was 14 hour sleep.
which was yesterday
i had very weird dreams.
the keep changing.
now i have a very painful stomach ache.
i had buka with rice almost filling up the plate.
and im so full.
2 of my sisters came and buka with us.
one of them is single so she didn't have any kids like the other one.
the other one brought her husband and her kids.
it was my niece and nephew.
my mom keeps saying to me, "pegi la main ngan anak buah awak, makcik."
i feel so old
>.<
like don't call me makcik!
makes me feel like im 30 something.
anyway, the one with no kids is like rich.
she has her own very tight secured apartment.
where you have to have a pass just to use the lift to up to the floor.
which is cool.

why do i keep having this annoying stomach aches?
i want to cut it out.
yea!
cut it out and i don't have to feel the pain anymore.
btw thats not being emo.

oh
my
god!
i got duit raya in advanced.
that is so cool!
i love my sisters.

then i went to kaajal's house.
miya, sam and jen was there.
we had lotsa fun.
we watched "when a stranger calls"
i didnt really watch it cos i was like too busy laughing like a pontianak
or so they said i was.
but when it came to the scary part, i screamed like a chicken.
kaajal screamed in my ear.
which still hurts.
then we played songs.
then we played blind man.
someone stepped on my left foot.
and i had to walk like a cacated person after that.
i didnt get to be blind man only kaajal, miya, kaajal's sister and jen.
me and sam were free!!
then it was like 11 and sam had to go.
aww.
then we watched the nanny.
then miya went.
aww.
then fall for you went on tv.
we sang.
then we had to go.
aww.

i went home and continued watching the nanny.
and slept in front of the tv.

and then my mom came back.
and then i slept till 1 the next day which is today.
i went out to ampang park.

i really wanted THAT phone!!!
>.<
i was so close!

then bought lotsa kuih.
then came home.
something i wanted happened.
thats why i cant wait to go back to school.
now i wanna go bathe.
but too damn malas.

poor lil guy. he tried to put in the thinggy into the thinggy *sounds sick* and then he got his head cut off.

wth - apa itu neraka?
omg - oh tuhanku
wtf - apa itu *i dun wanna say it*
wtc - apa itu tahi
wts - apa itu tahi
you know what - tahukah anda?
no way - tak boleh

the above are translation of the words in our daily lives. just think, if we use the malay version instead of the english. would not it sound weird?

mulut kau tu kan mcm kimak tau.
eeeh!! geramnyer!!
giler sakit hati aku!
bodoh sangat pesal?
nak cari pasal?
meh. dtg la.
meh. lagi suka aku nak tumbuk muka kau.
sakit hati, mata, kaki aku dgr mulut kau.
eeh!! nak sgt aku nak sumbat cili padi dlm tekak kau biar lebam.
apahal kau?
nak sgt kena sepak kan?
sikit2 nak nangis.
ckp satu benda pastu taknak ngaku.
sikit2 nak copy org.
sikit2 nak ni
sikit2 nak tu.
pikir la btul2
pikiran macam lalat.
sikit2 nak tukar.
aku smackdown u karang baru tau.
muka cam bengap.
slap magnet.
dahla otak senget.
ckp bnyk kali, taknak dgr.
lantak la kau.
pegi mampos
bukannya org kisah kan?
pastu ingat bila u nak merajuk, org kisah?
tolongla. taknak tengok muka kau pun.




p/s taking care of form three block has really paid off.

i wanna run in the rain and talk bout my problems.

which i exactly did.

and it was exhilarating!

thanks sam, jen and kaajal.

i feel so much better now.

but i bathed before i went out and then i had to bathe again.

i had ox tongue and ox intestines.

its awesome.

if you think that is that is disgusting, then you don't know what you're missing.

im so full from buka.

nicee.

on the same day, just weeks ago.
flashbacks begin.
it was the day my left ankle got ran over by my own tyre car.
i was too stupid to wait till my mom switches off the engine.
so i decided to jump off and my ankle got caught at the back tyre.
so i fractured it.
it looked like a Y.
so funny.
my orthopedist is very funny.
he made everything felt better.

so anyway, today starts like a normal day then it got worse.
my duty partner came and yay!
geo - missed it. :D
bm - scolding for not bringing the karangan book. she made us promise to put it on her table after the hols. eesh. menyusahkanla pompuan nih.
agama - was hell.
maths - duty time!!

all i can say is that i didn't think my holidays would start off like this.
i didn't regret asking to make the choice.
at least now i know that i have no choice but one.

and i think i batal puasa cos i lied so so many times just to get out of the class.

There's a light at each end of this tunnel.
You shout cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out.
And these mistakes you made, you'll just make the again.
If you only try turning around.

why was it so hard for you to say it?
i wanted to hear it fast so i would not feel so disappointed.
but you took so long and the pain was unbearable.
but then again, i still felt hurt by it.
i wanted to hear it over and over again
why?
i don't know.
you didn't seem to care.
so why should i care bout hurting myself?
the words you said the other day are still ringing in my ears.
"why did you let her say yes?"
because she already told me that she likes you very much.
and if i said no, i would be a jerk a selfish bastard who wouldn't let anyone touch you, no?
its peer pressure as one would say.
not my fault you were the one who asked her.
im still wondering why you asked her in the first place.
if you would call yourself a guy, you would ask me back
but you didn't
why?
because you believed every word i said on the telephone.
not anyone says the truth.
you lie too, as i seemed to notice.
but i still believed it.
i get it.
"why didn't you ask for a break?"
because i was stupid.
because i was scared.
because i was nervous.
because i thought i couldn't handle it.
because i thought i would stop making you suffer.
because i thought you would be better off with someone.
because even when we were together, she liked you.
it was uncomfortable
the whole thing is mostly because i was scared.
not because i thought you would eat me.
im not that stupid.
but because it was real in a long time.
and i thought that it was going too fast so i got scared.
im sorry that i didn't tell you this before but i have a weakness.
i am too slow to think of an explanation.
so people get pissed and i get scared because i am not able to come up with an explanation at the time.
not enough?
then i think you should think yourself because every truth up there is there.
if you think she has more girlfriend material, then i feel sorry for you.
because you actually compared.
its offensive.
don't know why she didn't find it offensive because its weird.
if she calls herself normal, then i think she should feel offensive.
because thats just abnormal.

and you, you wanted to hear me so i told you.
you think im being emo.
if you think what i talk bout him is being emo
then don't ask bout it.
because it hurts.
because you wouldn't wanna hear bout it.
because you're sick of it, am i right?
so don't ask bout it.
all i ask is for a shoulder to lean on.
looks to me no one wants to give it.

and you, you think im likable?
is that it?
i am NOT likable. even this dude said i sucked just now. so im not likable.
don't say something like that if you know who he's gonna choose.
but i still can't believe you.
over stuff happened.
you still too scared to get your friends back.
do you have any idea how much they dislike you for your attitude?
well, then let me say it then.
you changed when you got him.
you don't bother to change yourself.
you forget friends instantly.
you don't listen when we say something.
you think you're so good.
you try so desperately to fit in.
you don't bother to try and find a way to get your friends back.
but instead you whine bout it.
god, stand up for yourself!
its memalukan.
tau tak?
you think you're so cool.
you betrayed us more than once.
we forgive you.
so many bloody times.
but you still do it.
you are self-centered.
stop being something you're not.
but too bad, you will never know what's gonna happen right?
because you know why?
because you think that everything is gonna be ok when everything ends.
but think again.
because this time, we won't be there for you.
go ahead, rely on someone you just met this year.
instead of getting the friends of whom you made many memories of.
instead of getting the ones you have been relying on this many many years.
its very memalukan to see you like this.
will you ever stop being like that?
from the looks of it, you think you are better off like that.
and when you think you can rely on us ever again,
that is the moment where i think you are absolutely no one to me.
you don't think you're decisions are stupid until AFTER you fall.
so. don't come back crawling to us if you think everything sucks for you.
i told you to say yes because i thought i couldn't do anything bout it.
why ask my permission in the first place?
you already know that is wrong but you still think its possible.
hmph.
you had your chance to change but you decided to throw it away for something or someone you think is worth it.

sakit hati aku tengok ni.

dah ambik. nak sangat explanation kan?

but too bad one of you wouldn't be able to read this.

Boys call you sexy (What's up, sexy)
And you don’t care what they say
See, every time you turn around
They screamin' your name

Now I've got a confession
When I was young I wanted attention
And I promised myself that I’d do anything
Anything at all for the boys to notice me

[Bridge]
But I ain't complaining
We all wanna be famous
So go ahead and say what you wanna say
You know what it's like to be nameless
Want them to know what your name is
'Cause see when I was younger I would say

i woke up.
late.
but did not go to school late.
3 weeks straight i have been late twice.
which is very weird since i haven't got amaran yet.
went to school.
kena tegur because the form three's was so noisy.
seriously, i am trying my best trying to keep them quiet.
maths - boring
bm - slept through it.
recess - hungry
sejarah - wasn't listening at all. even though i was staring at the book.
agama - library. it felt so long in there.
sivik - the best part of the day. we were singing. oh so very loud. and may molested her husband.
went home.

then SHOPPING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i dressed like i never dressed before and i could swear there were 2 guys who passed by me and said, "hey babe". and "cute giler".
which was freaky.
so i ran to my mommy.
xD

i bought this fabu top and matching bottom to go with it.
i really have a feeling this year raya is gonna be good.

i found something really sad bout something today.
and i feel terrible.

and i also found something really confusing today.
and i feel confused.

and i found out that i don't know what to do.
and i don't want to know what would happen after that.

sometimes i just wanna stop the time and stay still.
just sit there.
and think.

i did not know that.
how interesting can life get.

i found out some very very VERY interesting information recently.

and i think that someone needs to make up their mind.

it cannot stay like that forever.

think. think. and think.

think what you really want and get it.

with determination.

i dare you.

i am so confused.
i am totally in love with love story.
i don't care how many times i said it.
because it is TRUE.

i got late again today.
cos i slept at 3 am.
aiyoh.
why haven't i got the amaran yet?

had kerja kayu.
but didnt bring the kayu.

did sejarah project.
finished it.
thanks priyanka, you're a doll. *australian accent*

went home.

did stuff.

now, i shall go bathe. and tanak nasi. and go buy credit.

my phone died.

need to resurrect it.

REAPER RULES!!!!!!
i love the tv show.
damn funny.
watch it.
yes, you also D.
its nice lar.

so i changed my mind bout going online after the previous post. so what?
but im logging off in a half an hour.
to watch REAPER!!!

i ate spaghetti carbonara during buka.
and it felt good.

rach, introduce me to more songs!
taylor swift - love story is so nicee.

i still think forgive me is nice.

so, lately i have been having stupid flashbacks.
why the hell they keep popping up?
is it cos i don't want to let it go?
is it?
or is it cos its reminding me of how stupid i am?

i am going to do something stupid this week.
yes i am.
just for the fun of it.
maybe ill bring mercun to school.
now, that is utterly idiotic.
hey, maybe ill consider it.

mwaha aha aha.

x]

anyway, i have stupid ass-faced sejarah project to finish.
and i really wanna fling it into the rubbish bin.
it sucks.
big time.
i have to pass up tomorrow.
and i have decided to pass it up one day late.
my excuse, "Haven't binded it yet teacher."
hehexD

maii.

you know, i went through 2 twilight quizzes and i found out
im edward cullen AND jasper hale.


so, the day went fine all day.

me planted a new tattoo on kitty kat scratching post.

me got scratched will trying to do that by a long finger nailed person or someone else..

but ...


i hate my life.

and exams are in 3 weeks.

and i haven't started studying yet.

screw this hell!!!!

but one thing to be optimistic about.


:3

i am never satisfied when i have to go out and buka.
cos i get my food like half an hour after buka time.
sucks.

well, i guess what made it worth while was that my table was opposite a hot guy's table and his family.
he was playing that arm-wrestling game.
and he won.
kyaaaa.
then i had to go, sad. *sob*

i came back, and did stuff.

i am more active on facebook.
how fun!
especially comparing people.
the choices i made is like very surprising if i tell.

but nawh.. go and join it and play it.
then you'll know.
especially YOU D.
join facebook!

the title is oh so random.

and emma, we all know its bound to happen sooner or later.
its obvious.

i ate 3 plates of rice at 5 am in the morning.
and now im still not hungry.
i eat so little during buka.
interesting.
me wansh to loosh weight!
cos me ish fat.

i got a dirty little secret to tell you.
it depends on whether if you can handle it.

*laughs evilly*

anyway, i woke up to my mom scolding me

"AWIN, get up now! and help me spring clean"

and spring cleaning in autumn??

ohk...

i still helped anyway.

i found clothes i never thought i would own.

and then i found a black top which is the same to this blue top.

i was squealing over it.

my sister cabut. i got pissed.

so i sort of swore.

bad bad thing to do when ur fasting.

ish.

then i finished it all by myself.

its damn banyak weih.

i love this new application on facebook.

its called compare people.

I WAS LAUGHING MY HEAD OFF

when i was using it.

play it.

its nice..

today sucked slow sucky ish. but then it turned good.

1) my mom didn't let me go.
2)i was dragged all the way to a small dude's party and his little friends. which was hella annoying.
3)my mom let my sister go but not me.

so bad right?

oh oh oh

I FINISH ALL THE REQUESTS IN FACEBOOK!!!!
THIS CALLS FOR A CELEBRATION!

though i know someone hacked into my facebook and ignored half of the requests.

so i got dragged to the small dude's party. and it was crawling with little kids running around screaming. and there were adults. like old people. so i did not totally fit in. at all.

so, i bodek my dad into going home. and i berjaya! i had to make a sacrifice. i had to turn down an extra slice of cake. *sob*

when he said to my mom, lets go home.

my face lit up. it was such an awesome feeling.

so, i came home.

and my mom bought chocolate hazelnut waffels!!!

and now im happy again.

in my little corner with my waffels and air sirap and internet and loud headphones.

i am going to get over it.
but once in a while.
i will break down and cry.
just give me a hug.
that is all i need.
so, please.
please don't turn your back on me.
because at a time like this.
you are what i need.

i got screwed recently. and that person won't admit that it was her fault. oh how nice of her.

come on and join me, and we can get high without getting caught.

i really hate it when my siblings go do something so bloody stupid and piss my mom off.

especially when i wanna do something and i cant do it anymore cos she's in a moody mood.

argh!

i woke up feeling "some shit is gonna happen today"

and went to school.

yea, on a saturday.

shit hasnt happen.

and

after that, shit happened.

and now im all miserable.

do not say i did not try.

because i did.

and now i really wanna die under the influence of drugs or maybe alcohol.

whichever comes first.

1.What's your name?

Awinnx]

2.Who are you?

A Pufferfish xD

3.Where you from?

I just arrived from emo-fest.

4.Tell, me, honestly.Have you been to jail ?

i wanted to. but my mom will kill me.

5.Where do you want to go?

I wanna go to .. not telling.

6.Where to you want to be?

where every girl wants to be.

7.What do you want to do now?

i wanna call someone and scream in their ear out of sheer boredom.

8.What song are you listening to?

The all-american rejects - move along

The Man Who Can't Be Moved

9.Are you in love?

what do you think?

10.Sweetheart, What exactly do you approve of?

i approve of everything that is emo to listen to. nice la.

11.Any friends?

yes, and i love them so freaking much.

12. Name me 10 people, will you.Tag them.

D
Rachel

Emma

May

Za

Hannah

Ely

13.Good,good.Now the first one on your list. Tell me 5 things about him/her.

D.

She's my best friend.

She 's awesome.

She's funny. thinks she's a ninja.

She's really a good friend. Seriously.

She's thinks cookies will rule the world. which is so not true.

14.Kay,now the second one on the list. Tell me 5 things bout that person too.

Rachel.

Rach is hot and random. best combination.

Rach is awesome. i mean it. when i say my friends are awesome.

Rach likes to poke the micheal.

Rach is edward fangirl.

Rach is my best friend.

15.Now, How about the third one on the list. I want 5 things bout them too.

Emma.
short. x]
crazy.
redzwan's wife.
best friend.
random.

16.Say 5 things bout the next person.

May.
long hair. till now i still envy her.
scary.
best friend.
awesome.
kitty kat.

Where are you right now?

in kl. but i wanna be in dubai.

18.Anyone in particular you want to say someting to?

yea, i regretted it. but ill live.

19.Anything you have to confess ?

i already confessed to everyone bout everything. and i dont think that was such a good idea.

20.Any story to tell?

one day, me found a something. and me want it to blossom. and me ruined it.
and me found out. and me regret. but me will live on. right?

-I tag the 10 people who has blogs-

....................i.......................................................................................................................................................
.............................................................................................................................................................................
................................................................................wanna...................................................................................
.............................................................................................................................................................................
............................................................................................................................................................................
................................................................................................................................die.........................................

A waiter is supposed to serve this table.
It has 3 Japanese businessmen.
They were masturbating.
Than the waitress went, "What the hell are you people doing?"
One of the japanese men said, "We are berry hungry"
Then the waitress said, "Then what the hell are you people doing that for?"
Then the other Japanese men said, "Cause menu said FIRST COME, FIRST SERVE"

u know, like cum and come. similarities?

darling, its a term of endearment.

don't take it the wrong way.

*snicker*

xD

i slept. dane cook is still funny. akhmed is stupid. stupid funny. not stupid mean.

im going to blog about crap full stop

i had diarrhea today.

it was miserably painful.

today, miya attempted to tell me a joke bout perverted people.

i think there was this waitress and she saw 3 Japanese businessmen masturbating at their table.

but miya didn't finish it cos i had to go home. xP

terrorist are a gift from hell or heaven?

you decide.

japanese gay guys are not gay.

or are they?

but ikuta toma is still hot and straight.

poking vampires are extremely dangerous.

that is why we should be cautious.

poke is a big NONO when it comes to random.

oo's and aa's are stupid words that dont make sense.

words dont control us.

or so you think.

maybe they are just words.

words are meant to explain right?

i think.

spongebob squarepants is not really a sponge or a bob or a square or a pants.

i mean, if he's a sponge living under the sea, then he should be bloated and heavy.

if he's a bob, people should be calling him bob not spongebob.

he's not really square cos squares are solid.

if he's pants, then he should be wearing pants only right? not together with the shirt.

i think i need some serious explanation.

thats why words are created right?

x]

pish posh is also words. created by the british right?

holy cow. its a sexy word.

cos its created by british.

i mean british accents are sexy.

do not deny it.

thin creepy man is just creepy.

imagine him with glossed hair parted to the side.

very thin eyebrows.

smokes a cigaratte.

has a cane that can kill people.

piercing eyes.

holds a 42 inch caliber.

oh did i mention the cane is actually a sword with a cover?

and he is obsessed with hair.

ring a bell?

but i bet you can't remember since its like so rarely spoken of.

long silky sequined low cut dresses are fabulous.

you know, not every dude can act innocent.

i mean, if you lie, then admit la.

why must have such a huge ego??

it does not hurt to admit sometimes.

you guys make it like such a big deal and makes it like some kind of competition.

if the girl is nice and tolerable maybe you can bully la.

but if the girl has a temper that she says she can control but you may never know.

if the girl locks her feet crosses her arms and says

"you know what, you're right, and im wrong. im always wrong and you have always been right."

dude, you are in deep shit.

if she walks away, you better start thinking of some serious apologies.

lets move on shall we?

am i the same person i used to be?

i would like to know that.

of course, there are some bumps but am i recovering?

i love dancing.

the best first date for me would be,

at the club, where i can dance. but im under aged.

sedih betul.

but that would be the most awesomest date. ever.

mamma mia. here we go again.

xD

hungryyy.

desert shoes are brown fyi.

maths - anyaman.
bm - teacher pms-ed.
sejarah - exercises. bummer. pain pain painful stomach pain.
agama - library. found out some weird things. pain stomach.
sivik - free period. yay!

i found out that with may's glasses i look like a dude.
with sue cern's i look like a grandpa. if you push it down, ill look like a grandma.
with sarah's i look like a normal kid. but if i push it up, ill look like a whore.
with priyanka's ill look like a nerd full stop.

i need more glasses to see who i look like.

sleep - nice. but i wanna watch dane cook.

if you dont know who that is, i pity you.
this dude is like extremely funny.
i thank shafiq for introducing me to it.
now i have a new addiction.

akhmed. is a puppet. i did not know that.
i am going to have nightmares tonight.

bum bum bi dum bum bum bi dum bum

i want to live a free life.
i wanna live like a king.
but im not.
too bad.
i wanna buka puasa with pizza tonight.
nice to have something for a change.

hug?

billy says he borrowed harry's socks without the permission and he says he's very sorry but he returned it in 'good' condition.

i have other million things to but i choose to stay on the computer.
what is wrong with me?

theres this song called
brittany murphy ft. paul oakenfold - faster kill pussycat.
its da-hamn nice.
listen to it.
like major seriously.

i bet my facebook has 1000 requests.
and im not lying.

you turn me on *wink* *wink*

i can make fran drescher's voice.
i can even laugh like her.

british accents are sexy.
at least i find it sexy.

the man who can't be moved is totally
A-W-E-S-O-M-E.
he's like so sweet in his video.
sho adorable!

billy says hi and he's sorry that he said harry should be made into a soup and that bob stinks.
he was pms-ing.
life right?
wait no. panda's don't pms.

if panda's dont pms then what do you call them when they're on a mood swing?

mood swing?

xD

mood swing it is.

blur blur blur blur. is what i am.

yea im back baby!
perverted and weird and likes to erm... smooth things out with stupid senseless humor.
eventhough thats like a bad combination, but yea.
deal with it.
if you think thats who i was then and shocked bout it,
then i have nothing to say.

well, yesterday. i only slept for like 2 hours and my mom dragged me all the way to Sogo.
and i went all crazy wanting this and that.
i bought a pair of jeans and new SHOES!!
hella yea baby!
you know, i think i almost batal puasa when this bitch didnt let me use the dressing room first.
she ran in before i could.
the mother was even worse.
she was menggalakking the daughter to use it before me.
i muttered bitch when i left.
i think she heard me.
cos she bloody deserved it.
i think the daughter is in her 20's and the mom is in 40's, i think.
and they have no shame.

when i went to pay for my jeans,
this very RANDOM child came up to me,
and started screaming.
i was like WTF?!?!?!?!
i backed away slowly and walked away.
then the child stood there and continued screaming.
everyone was like staring.
and i was like WHERE THE HELL IS THE MOTHER!?!?!

it was a very unusual experience. haihz.

today, was just like another ordinary day full of drama in life.
then after recess, i recovered.
and i think im beginning to get the hang of how to do the freaking anyaman.
it really tests your patience.
i had to buka puasa with my sister alone today.
so bored.
and we fought over the chicken.
i was like,
m : i want this chicken, you eat something else.
s : but thats not fair.
m : ah, nasibla.
s : im telling mama.
m : mama is eating at a hotel and you are going to tattle bout a chicken?
s : so, i dont care.
m : theres more chicken la.
s : but they pedas.
m : padan muka.
s : thats it im telling mama.

i went up to her when she was dialling the phone, and i cabut the line.
haha.
im so bad.
nasibla kan.

anna nalick - breathe is nicee.

lonely table, just for one.
in a bright and crowded room.
while the music has just begun.
i drink to memories in the gloom.
though the music's still the same.
it has a bitter sweet refrain.

now, i just don't think that i should continue this.
cos im making others suffer.
and im suffering too.
so what is going on?
strong, is what i should be.
shouldn't it?
why didn't i let it go?
maybe i was waiting more like hoping for even a single tiny hope that maybe i would get what i want back.
but, now i know, that its just a little too late.
and i should just look away and put whats behind a past.
and walk and walk towards moving on to what it might or could be a new shade of light.
if i need to do this, i would need help.
help is where i can get from friends.
and im so glad and thankful that i have a set of friends that i have now.
and i hope that i will be able to do what everyone thinks is best for me.
and that is,

move on.

this is already hard for me as it is.
but it is harder on my friends and to those who care around me.
so, with this. i promise to my friends, that i will try and not cry over .. anymore.


p/s screw you for ruining my life. i hope you know who im talking bout. don't be perasan though.

i know you've found somebody new.
but that won't stop my lovin' you.
i just can't let you walk away.
forget the love i had for you.

guess i could find somebody too.
but i don't want nobody but you.
how could you leave without regret?
am i that easy to forget?

before you leave be sure you find
you want her love much more than mine
cause i'll just say we've never met.
if i'm that easy to forget.

hooray!
saya berjaya tidak datang ke sekolah hari ini!!
mari kita menyambut hari yang glorious ini!

well, i managed to pujuk my mom to let me not come to school for reasonable reasons.

i was supposed to pass up my sejarah project.
which i did not finish.
i was supposed to show pn florence the geo project.
which i did not finish.
i was supposed to show pn uma the science notes.
which i did not finish.
i have to see *ehem* face.
which i don't want cos it will just ..
i was supposed to do duty.
which i don't want cos i have to see *ehem* face.
i was supposed to do kerja kayu.
which i want but dont want.
i was supposed to pass up maths.
which i did not do.
i was supposed to stand for perhimpunan.
which i certainly dont want.
i was supposed to see the other *ehem* face.
which i so seriously don't have the mood to look at right now.

last night was uber fun.
me, denise and sam went to miya's house and we put up lanterns.
which in the end got burnt.
and then denise attempted to burn
the candle box.
which was cool but me n miya panicked and washed it with pool water.
oh did i mention it was raining a bit.
and me and miya swimmed.
i did so many cannon balls.
which was awesome.
and then someone took of her shirt and did a cannon ball also.
then we ate mooncake!!
chocolate mooncake, and tiramisu mooncake. and i brought home white coffee mooncake.
i don't care if its disgusting to you.
cos i really like mooncakes.
oh i ate in the pool.
and it is very nice to swim at night cos the thought of having the pool all to yourself is awesome.
it was cold.
so i shivered.
alot.
and my fingers and toes were like kecut.
then we went up and changed.
and i dried my hair.
i didnt tell my mom i was gonna swim cos i know she wouldn't let me go.
but it was such a nice therapy.
i went home and terus mandi.
ahh.
it was the best sunday night i have ever had.
wish rach, may and za was there.

i just found out.
i could have come to school today and not have to
pass up sejarah.
show notes.
show geography project.
pass up maths.
aaaaahhhhhhhh.

oh well, im gonna try and come to school tomorrow.

maybe.

but i wanna go swimming again tonight.

don't you just love lady gaga ft. colby o donis - just dance.

damn nice lar that song.

listen to it if you don't know the song.

i've been listening to emo songs lately.

i have to move on.

gotta get over it.

hey! that sounds like lyrics from a song.

how interesting.

oh baby its raining raining.
come in to me.
come in to me.

everything i say here is fictitious.

do not believe what i say here.

cos if you do, you're an idiot.

im a drama queen.

i like to be melodramatic.

yes i do.

and what has happened.

is all my fault.

yes, hate me.

please.

so i can die easily.

with drugs.

i just realized something i should have realized from the start.

I DESERVE THIS DON'T I?

thats the truth isn't it?

I REALLY DO DESERVE THIS THING TO HAPPEN TO ME.

why didn't anyone tell me that?

I FREAKING DESERVE TO SUFFER FROM THE START!

jonas brothers - burning up
isn't the song nice?
i listened to it again today.
and listen properly.
and eventhough they are gay.
i like their song.
ohmigod.
i like their song.
but its so nice.

o my god. i have officially cracked.

seriously. i would not be singing hsm in the morning out of sheer boredom.

another day. another pain.

i love music.

what kind of person who does not love music?

tell me.

i have a story for y'all.

one day, theres this group of girls.
they were hanging out.
when suddenly, this dude came out of nowhere.
and they hanged out.
his name is darryl.
and one of the girls like him.
her name was shazmin.
and so she confessed.
and he asked her to couple with her.
and so they did.
then she dumped him cos ...
then 10 days after that.
he asked her friend to couple with him.
her name was . ok maybe i don't wanna say it.
then she so badly wanted to say yes.
she asked shazmin cos she felt that it was necessary.
and shazmin being polite said yes.
and so she *shazmin's friend* felt so happy.
and they couple.
and now shazmin is suffering.
why?
tell me why is shazmin is suffering?
so shazmin thought she would rely on her best friend.
but she thought wrong.
its just making it worse.

oh well, life goes on.

but shazmin is still suffering.

aiyo. why must she go through all this?

well, she feels like she wants to take drugs and forget bout it.

now i know how drug addicts feel.

maybe cos she deserves this. maybe she should really take drugs.

maybe she will. lets see, how it goes for another day and the next and the next.

hmmm. drugs are a really good option for her right now. like really.