There's a light at each end of this tunnel.
You shout cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out.
And these mistakes you made, you'll just make the again.
If you only try turning around.

why was it so hard for you to say it?
i wanted to hear it fast so i would not feel so disappointed.
but you took so long and the pain was unbearable.
but then again, i still felt hurt by it.
i wanted to hear it over and over again
why?
i don't know.
you didn't seem to care.
so why should i care bout hurting myself?
the words you said the other day are still ringing in my ears.
"why did you let her say yes?"
because she already told me that she likes you very much.
and if i said no, i would be a jerk a selfish bastard who wouldn't let anyone touch you, no?
its peer pressure as one would say.
not my fault you were the one who asked her.
im still wondering why you asked her in the first place.
if you would call yourself a guy, you would ask me back
but you didn't
why?
because you believed every word i said on the telephone.
not anyone says the truth.
you lie too, as i seemed to notice.
but i still believed it.
i get it.
"why didn't you ask for a break?"
because i was stupid.
because i was scared.
because i was nervous.
because i thought i couldn't handle it.
because i thought i would stop making you suffer.
because i thought you would be better off with someone.
because even when we were together, she liked you.
it was uncomfortable
the whole thing is mostly because i was scared.
not because i thought you would eat me.
im not that stupid.
but because it was real in a long time.
and i thought that it was going too fast so i got scared.
im sorry that i didn't tell you this before but i have a weakness.
i am too slow to think of an explanation.
so people get pissed and i get scared because i am not able to come up with an explanation at the time.
not enough?
then i think you should think yourself because every truth up there is there.
if you think she has more girlfriend material, then i feel sorry for you.
because you actually compared.
its offensive.
don't know why she didn't find it offensive because its weird.
if she calls herself normal, then i think she should feel offensive.
because thats just abnormal.

and you, you wanted to hear me so i told you.
you think im being emo.
if you think what i talk bout him is being emo
then don't ask bout it.
because it hurts.
because you wouldn't wanna hear bout it.
because you're sick of it, am i right?
so don't ask bout it.
all i ask is for a shoulder to lean on.
looks to me no one wants to give it.

and you, you think im likable?
is that it?
i am NOT likable. even this dude said i sucked just now. so im not likable.
don't say something like that if you know who he's gonna choose.
but i still can't believe you.
over stuff happened.
you still too scared to get your friends back.
do you have any idea how much they dislike you for your attitude?
well, then let me say it then.
you changed when you got him.
you don't bother to change yourself.
you forget friends instantly.
you don't listen when we say something.
you think you're so good.
you try so desperately to fit in.
you don't bother to try and find a way to get your friends back.
but instead you whine bout it.
god, stand up for yourself!
its memalukan.
tau tak?
you think you're so cool.
you betrayed us more than once.
we forgive you.
so many bloody times.
but you still do it.
you are self-centered.
stop being something you're not.
but too bad, you will never know what's gonna happen right?
because you know why?
because you think that everything is gonna be ok when everything ends.
but think again.
because this time, we won't be there for you.
go ahead, rely on someone you just met this year.
instead of getting the friends of whom you made many memories of.
instead of getting the ones you have been relying on this many many years.
its very memalukan to see you like this.
will you ever stop being like that?
from the looks of it, you think you are better off like that.
and when you think you can rely on us ever again,
that is the moment where i think you are absolutely no one to me.
you don't think you're decisions are stupid until AFTER you fall.
so. don't come back crawling to us if you think everything sucks for you.
i told you to say yes because i thought i couldn't do anything bout it.
why ask my permission in the first place?
you already know that is wrong but you still think its possible.
hmph.
you had your chance to change but you decided to throw it away for something or someone you think is worth it.

sakit hati aku tengok ni.

dah ambik. nak sangat explanation kan?

but too bad one of you wouldn't be able to read this.